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Being a teenager is confusing and annoying and frustrating as fuck. That being said it's rare that I break down completely. This weekend I broke down completely. Monday morning was probably the hardest morning this year so far, and the first time where I didn't feel like going to school. Monday started off horrible, and I went home from school because I couldn't keep myself together or focused on anything. So yea I went home and after feeling bad for myself for an hour or two I started to build myself up again. I realised that my happiness has to depend on me. No one else, just me. And I realised that it's not selfish of me to do things that are right for me, or want what's best for me, and if it is selfish then call me selfish I couldn't care less. After some improvised yoga on my livingroom floor with some Nirvana playing loud in the bacground, I actually started feeling like a great person again (don't ask how that helped it just did). For once I spend the entire evening watching sex & the city and talking to Maria, not caring about anything but my own happiness. Something I hadn't done in a long time, and it felt great! The past two mornings, I haven't started school until 10, so I've used my mornings to really be nice to myself. Tuesday I put on a cute pyjamas, made a big cup of coffee, and cut up some fruit, lid a couple of candles in my room, turned on some nice music and ate breakfast in bed. Today I forced myself to get up early and go out for a run/ walk in the woods where I live. The weather was lovely and it wasn't too cold, and even though I felt dead when I got home, my whole day has seemed better. Today was the best day in a long time. School was great, I worked out and I got a high mark on my english paper, and most important, I felt great about myself the whole day. If anyone actually reads this I hope you remember to do something great for yourself every day, you should be the most important person in your life, no matter what. Lots of love and goodnight x
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