Rebuilding

Being a teenager is confusing and annoying and frustrating as fuck. That being said it's rare that I break down completely. This weekend I broke down completely. Monday morning was probably the hardest morning this year so far, and the first time where I didn't feel like going to school. Monday started off horrible, and I went home from school because I couldn't keep myself together or focused on anything. So yea I went home and after feeling bad for myself for an hour or two I started to build myself up again. I realised that my happiness has to depend on me. No one else, just me. And I realised that it's not selfish of me to do things that are right for me, or want what's best for me, and if it is selfish then call me selfish I couldn't care less. After some improvised yoga on my livingroom floor with some Nirvana playing loud in the bacground, I actually started feeling like a great person again (don't ask how that helped it just did). For once I spend the entire evening watching sex & the city and talking to Maria, not caring about anything but my own happiness. Something I hadn't done in a long time, and it felt great! The past two mornings, I haven't started school until 10, so I've used my mornings to really be nice to myself. Tuesday I put on a cute pyjamas, made a big cup of coffee, and cut up some fruit, lid a couple of candles in my room, turned on some nice music and ate breakfast in bed. Today I forced myself to get up early and go out for a run/ walk in the woods where I live. The weather was lovely and it wasn't too cold, and even though I felt dead when I got home, my whole day has seemed better. Today was the best day in a long time. School was great, I worked out and I got a high mark on my english paper, and most important, I felt great about myself the whole day. If anyone actually reads this I hope you remember to do something great for yourself every day, you should be the most important person in your life, no matter what. Lots of love and goodnight x

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I Guess We'll Call It a Random Saturday Night Post

I'm really happy. My throat hurts, my hair is greasy, my eyes can't seem to keep themselves open and my nose keeps running, but for some reason I'm actually really really happy. To be fair the odds of my day being great when I woke up this morning weren't that great, but somehow things turned up. Taking a train to Greve obviously wasn't the most exciting way to start my day, but Sine and I spent the 1:15 hour journey talking about everything and nothing, and when we arrived at the lecture we were obligated to attend, it wasn't horrible at all, actually, it was quite ammusing. I had a great lunch and the presentations we had to watch weren't even that bad. When I got home I even helped my dad cook dinner and now I ate so much that my running tights actually seem a little too tight around the waist. I'm tired and in a second I'm gonna reward myself with a nice long shower before bed, and when I wake up tomorrow it's gonna be the 1st of december! That thought has kept me feeling like a little child on the inside this whole day. I can't wait to wake up and open my calendars and listen to christmassy music. I really do love christmastime.. x But anyways, I gathered some of the things that kinda make me happy, I don't know if they make sense to anyone else but I hope that you guys like them just as much as I do! x

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Motivated

Last night I watched the most inspiring documentary called "Beyond Expectations" about this australian mom who right after giving birth to her second child, started a new lifestyle in order to 9 months later participate in a sportsmodeling contest. This woman is an amazing human being, inspiring and positive, and her results were amazing. Just watching the documentary made me wanna be a better person and be more positive and active and even though I have no intention of becoming a sportsmodel, I think it's nice to think that a little efford makes a difference in the long hall. So today when my school didn't start until 2 pm, I decided to do something nice for myself, so I put on my big coat, and made myself a nice cup of coffee, put my shape-ups on and went for a nice walk in the woods where I live. When I got home I watched some random tv and lifted some weights (not like hardcore, just a little bit) and went to school for my p.e. class. Even though I've been keeping myself active all day, I feel more energetic than I have in weeks. I know that I won't be able to do this every day, but taking a break from sitting still inside is definitely going to help me get through the winter. Oh, that and the fact that its december soon! x

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